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<title>She's Gone by Autumn__Rose</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25354963">She's Gone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumn__Rose/pseuds/Autumn__Rose'>Autumn__Rose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Injury, Depression, F/M, Happy Ending, Miscarriage, Slight blood mention, Suicide Attempt, bucky and wanda, mentions of Sam - Freeform, post Endgame, slight hint of past grey steve</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:47:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25354963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumn__Rose/pseuds/Autumn__Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When you lose your baby.....you spiral.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Female Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>She's Gone</h2></a>
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    <p>She was here one moment....gone the next. A little life so small and new, and now...........you were empty inside.</p><p>Steve.....didn’t take the news well...he had sobbed harshly before tearing himself away from you and fleeing, like the sight of you was to much to bare. He had left you standing in the middle of the livingroom heartbroken....shattered.....alone.</p><p>Cold.</p><p>                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>He didn’t come back, not on day one, two or three. He didn’t return your phone calls or text. The team or what was left of them....you didn’t dare contact, you had never felt close to any of them anyway, Bucky maybe, Sam too, Wanda would be a close third, but.....after everything that happened in the last year....Thanos...the snap being reversed.....it just wasn’t the same, they weren’t the same....there was a sadness there now, sharper edges.</p><p>No, you had no one, Steve was all you ever needed, not your shitty family, not your lame ass friends, no all you needed was Steve, he told you so time and time again, and he was right.</p><p>Now though, it feels like you have no one....with the loss of the baby.....you feel like you are drowning in a sea of despair.</p><p>                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>You don’t remember filling the bathtub, you don’t remember never shutting it off or climbing in. You blink slowly as you look down at the blade suddenly in your hand. You don’t remember grabbing that either, everything feels.....muted...disconnected.</p><p>This is for the best.</p><p>                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Steve finds himself home at last, feeling like the worst kind of scum being gone from you for so long, he’ll make it up to you though...he had just....needed to process everything. They could try again, after this pain passed they could try again, but now...he just wants to hold you.</p><p>Only.....he finds water dripping down the stairs the minute he steps inside the house, he doesn’t even remember shutting the front door before he racing up the stairs and following the water.</p><p>He nearly slips as he rushes into the bathroom and finds you.....you...</p><p>“Oh god baby no!....no no no!” </p><p>He’s all but crashing into the side of the tub and shutting off the water, his eyes frantically taking in the red water...your wrist.....”NO!” He shouts loudly....wetly....the word on a loop as he pulls you from the water and grabs towels and wraps them around your wrist tightly.</p><p>Tears blur his vision, but he pays them no mind.</p><p>He picks you up and rushes back down stairs, your heart beat was.....low....so fucking low. He gets the front door open and just....runs to the hospital.</p><p>                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Steve’s been listening to the beeping sound for days, for some people it would be grating maybe, for him? It meant you were alive and that was all that mattered.</p><p>                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>When you find yourself alive a day later....you just....you don’t even open your eyes, you just start crying, big gentle hands are on you in a second and soon they just wrap around you as you ugly cry.</p><p>“I’m sorry, i’m so sorry!” You say harshly, voice rough from tears.</p><p>“Shhhhh, I know baby, I know.” Steve whispers, deciding to just say fuck it and climbs into the bed and turns on his side so he can fully hold you to him as you both cry together.</p><p>“I felt so...alone...you left me....it hurt so much.” </p><p>Your words break Steve’s heart even more, “I’m so, so sorry sweetheart, i’ll never do that again, I swear it.”</p><p>You answer by just clinging to him more.</p><p>He does the same with you.</p>
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